Eric Santos is a junior at Georgetown University. “This quad is great for studying – I come here almost every day.” He is a dedicated member of the prestigious Blue and Gray Tour Guide Society. “There’s an urban legend that stepping on the seal means graduating late, and personally, I believe it.” He is the culmination of his forefathers and their hopes for America’s tour-giving scene. “Anyone else from Whitefish, Montana? Come on now… nobody?” Georgetown was his destiny. But now, he must do the unthinkable – the unpossible. In a zealous bid to cement his legacy forever, Eric will apply the Blue and Gray philosophy to every aspect of his life. He will become Blue and Gray, and Blue and Gray will become him.

Viewing Eric as a messiah of sorts, other Blue and Gray members have begun matching his dedication in making “life” and “Blue and Gray” synonymous. Inevitably, this includes the day-to-day functions of living at Georgetown. Pissing and shitting, two vital actions that the human body literally cannot survive without, are now at the top of the training to-do list. “Mount the toilet like that MSB prick who pulls chairs over and straddles them to talk to you,” the revised manuals now say, in addition to, “thou shalt not break eye contact with anything resembling a human face.” This is truly an evolutionary leap for Blue and Gray, and we all are duty-bound to assist their members through this colossal undertaking and these trying times.