Georgetown loves its students of all abilities! That’s why they have announced the opening of a new Disability Center, to be located on the roof of VCW. You know that slick, slanted, blue metal roof? Yeah, that one. The only way up is by ladder, but don’t worry! Mask and Bauble has generously donated their harness and pulley system to hoist members up there! Inclusive and theatrical! Over the next week, Facilities will be propping some plywood against the edges of the roof as an interim “railing,” so please avoid standing directly under VCW, as falling plywood and/or Facilities workers could prove to be hazardous. 

Opening day will have snacks, games, and a special guest: Crouton the three-legged dog from McCarthy. Crouton will be the new Disability Center mascot after significant objection to Jack the Bulldog. Regarding the issue, one student said, “I don’t know, Jack walks around campus all day, every day. It just kind of feels like he’s flaunting it.”

Students interested in manning the pulley system should sit patiently on the roof until opening day, criss cross apple sauce.