The Georgetown Heckler

News | April 17, 2022

He is Risen: DeGioia’s Isolation Room Found Empty on Easter Sunday

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This morning, DeGioia’s isolation room in the university hotel was found empty by his female followers who had come to pay respects. According to Catherine Armour and Ranit Mishori, who had come sealed by a large rock and guarded by two mask monitors, they found the rock cast aside and his room empty. 

Asked what he saw, one of the mask monitors told The Heckler that there was “an overpowering, blinding light that came down from the sky, and then through the lobby and up the elevator to the fifth floor. I couldn’t see because it was so bright, but it said to me, ‘Be not afraid my child, collecting your feedback remains very important to us; this survey should take about 1-2 minutes to complete while I raise our president from his isolation.’” After this, he says he blacked out and awoke with the room empty and a completed student feedback survey on the floor beside him.

There have also been several nonfood related messages in the Free Food GroupMe about a man walking around barefoot, wrapped in a hotel bed sheet like a robe, and calling himself DeJesus. If you have any more information, please reach out to The Heckler.