In Red Square, a makeshift vigil: students assemble in a solemn circle, holding candles with bowed heads. At the center of their memorial is a heap of flowers and framed photographs – not of any individual, but fields of corn.
No, this isn’t a gathering of homesick Midwesterners or maize enthusiasts. These are members of a little-known breakaway sect of Georgetown University Right To Life, known as Students United for Corn Rights (SUCR).
Recently, Right To Life hosted a movie screening intended to foster discussion about the anti-choice ideology. Advertised on the fliers for the movie screening, which took place this past weekend in Healy Hall, was the snack they would be serving at the event: popcorn. “Initially, I was excited,” said Kimberly Herman (MSB ‘23), “but then I read the poster a little more closely.” Herman, who hails from Iowa, joined Right To Life as a freshman, and quickly realized how flawed the organization was. “All this talk of ‘all lives’ mattering, yet corn wasn’t mentioned even once!” Herman told The Heckler. “It was this blatant oversight that illustrated how important it was for me to start SUCR.”
Herman was not alone – several other members of Right To Life were affronted by the lack of corn rights advocacy and joined SUCR. They, like Herman, were appalled to learn that Right To Life would be serving popcorn at the movie screening.
“How could they be so hypocritical?” exclaimed Phil Monson (COL ‘23), co-founder of SUCR. “Each and every kernel that they so cruelly slaughtered for their own benefit was robbed of its potential to grow into a lush, beautiful corn plant. Think of the corn that was lost to their callousness! One of those corn plants could have fed the kid who cures cancer. Or the kid who becomes our first female president. Or the kid that gets us to Mars!”
Monson and Herman rallied the members of SUCR to boycott the screening, instead hosting the vigil in Red Square. “This is just one example of the flawed logic exhibited by Right To Life,” said Herman in a speech to those gathered to remember the cereal grains consumed. “What are diaper drives and free babysitting going to do for the hundreds of thousands of corn kernels that flounder in our broken agricultural system? Georgetown University Right To Life talks about protecting all life, but they don’t mention corn once. If they don’t even care about corn, can they truly care about you?”