In a video parodying your seventh grade English teacher’s favorite show, GUASFCU accidentally showed images of 12 account holders’ sensitive financial information, exposing them to potential identity theft, fraud, and more. And revealed that one student (Evan Stinger, MSB ‘25) pays over $600 each month for a daily delivery of a new body-pillow.

In defense of their data breach, GUASFCU replied to the Heckler’s request for comment saying, “We were not aware that anyone actually had an account here and therefore thought there could not be any financial details on screen. I mean, why the hell would you fucking give your money to us? We’re run by college students, and not just regular college students, business students!”

In defense of his (worse) actions, Stinger replied to us that, “You are just uncultured perverts. These are for artistic appreciation!” Stinger grabbed the pillow with a noticeable crunch and continued, “My pillows never mind when I eat mummy’s specialty onion sandwiches!”

In the end, perhaps a few cases of identity theft were a small price to pay for finding out something hilariously embarrassing about another person to help us ignore the many faults in our own lives.