So you made the mistake of sticking around Georgetown for another semester, because during your junior year the “global pandemic” happened to “disrupt” your flourishing undergraduate “education.” That’s cool! What a normal, amazing choice you have made for yourself. That also means you have another semester to work on your thesis. Wow! But one thing is for sure: you have another four more months of seeing your elderly octogenarian professor who is advising your thesis against your will. And as a seasoned student who’s been around the block, now you’ve got more in common with him than ever before!

“You are so mature for your age,” he drawls, tufts of white hair falling around him like snowflakes as he wheezes and rattles, “a senior just like me.” Over email, he invites you to get a coffee at 6 p.m for a Thursday evening, and it concerns you that he is so forward with you but one cuppa joe at that hour might literally kill him. Why does he want to see you so bad? Maybe it’s because your thesis is so nuanced and fills a gap in the literature in your shared subject area, or maybe it’s because he’s a sick old man who doesn’t know how to quit. Hacking and coughing, your professor propositions you for a drink. “Perhaps I can offer you a glass of wine when we next meet to discuss your thesis.” Is it a joke? Who knows!