A couple of weeks ago I shorted the radio of my mom’s 2013 Honda Odyssey in a bong water related incident, leaving me permanently tuned into 95.8 Fearless Faith. This would outrage any other single 22-year-old man still living at home, but not me. The Immaculate AM-FM Disruption set my life and Uber career on a brand new path guided by the voice of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. That said, I am not looking to use this space to talk about myself. It is true that when I get caught speeding now I get let off with a warning after asking for the officer’s badge number and screaming about being late for my daughter’s ballet recital. And yes, I do make twice as many tips as I did before by passing around a wicker collection bowl to my passengers each trip. But I really don’t like to talk about how blessed I am to have such a wonderful career and beautiful, imaginary family (James started taking viola lessons last week – you have not seen a more gifted 3rd grader!). After all, it is written: “Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring” (Deuteronomy 23:1). Instead I want to use this moment to focus on the less fortunate. Located in the back pockets of the seats in my car are laminated cards with a prayer that I would like to share with you all: 

Our driver, 

Who art behind the wheel,

Hallowed be thy tunes.

Thy destination come.

Thy trip be done,

On the road as it is in Heaven

Give us this day our daily 20% tips.

And forgive us our 3-star reviews,

As we forgive those who gave us 3 stars.

Lead us not into new genres,

But deliver us from profanity.

Amen.