HARNEY, OR — In a historically respectful tribute to the constitutional vision of the founding fathers, a group of failed military professionals were seen defending the second amendment in its purest form on Thursday when they packed their guns and whatever they could find in a military surplus store and set up camp in a federal […]

RALEIGH, NC — Upon returning home Wednesday for the first time in four months, freshman Jake Labour (COL ’19) was promptly reminded by relatives he had not seen in years that he was just a scrawny, weak little pussy the last time everyone saw him.  “It’s so nice to see him not sucking his thumb or shitting […]