The infamous coffee chat. You pick a slot on the Google spreadsheet for whatever consulting club you’re convinced will guarantee you success right out of college. You wear your best casual yet slightly professional outfit and meet an apathetic, low-level authority figure member of the club. Wow, Uncommon Grounds is playing Eye of the Tiger, […]

The latest installment in a seemingly unending series, “Super Bowl LII: Patriots vs. Rams” had some massive shortcomings. With a whopping 3 hour and 16 minute runtime, “Super Bowl” offered a mixed bag of highs and lows. My largest critique of the game was the record low scores, with a total of only 13-3 in favor […]

On this day we celebrate the life and legacy of a truly inspirational man, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. In honor of Dr. King, here are some of his most celebrated quotes, along with a few things that – we’ll be honest – we sorta inferred, but are all totally within the realm of possibility. […]

Environmentalists tell us that we need to stop using fossil fuels and submit to draconian regulation to “save the world for our children.” But what right do children have to our natural resources? They’re small, weak and have no money to buy them with. Asking us to conserve now is just redistributing potential wealth now […]

HARBIN – So! The shower stalls of Harbin 7 were unusually quiet – until this morning, when the notorious Shower Masturbator laid waste to Stall 7-C, leaving a sticking trail in his villainous wake. He left it in wreckage, strewn with his remnants and the markers of his power. “Yeah I heard it. Was right […]

Sophomore Davis Buckley (COL ’19) had always had an interest in Latin American cultures. But he had never even been to another country or ever connected with someone from there on a personal level. It was a far away dream for him. But, one day last year, Davis realized he could make a real connection […]

FOGGY BOTTOM – The administration of Donald Trump announced Tuesday morning that Marcus Dewalt (SFS ’19), an intern at the State Departments’ Bureau of Administration, had been promoted to Assistant Secretary of State for Public Affairs. “We expect great things of Mr. Dewalt, who has already shown his promise by re-organizing the Bureau’s paper stocks,” […]

DARNALL – After compiling and entering his personal information late Monday evening, Gerald Hammon’s (COL ‘20) program that he created to find his one true love encountered a fatal runtime error. “The program froze on the screen and then just took an abnormal exit, I have no idea what could of caused it” said the […]

HEALY – The Philodemic Society, Georgetown’s debating club, announced Tuesday morning its next debate would be Resolved: Yes. “In the grand traditions of our 175 year old society, we gather to consider the eternal question: on the affirmation, yes, and of course, negating: no,” said Evelyn Mayer (COL ‘18), Philodemic’s president. Members of the club […]

Why wasn’t I invited to this party?