Multi-Sport Field – Georgetown University’s football team celebrated the end of the 2014 season today by awarding each player a special trophy for participation.   After beating Holy Cross to end the season 3-8, head coach Rob Sgarlata called his players together for an end-of-season ceremony.   “Great hustle today, guys,” Sgarlata told the team. […]

HEALY CIRCLE — “Every time a tour gets led and they refer to the ‘Gentle-MAN behind me’ my skin starts to crawl,” stated Jess Yu (NHS ‘18) to the Heckler.   Recently, Hotly Entrenched Students Hating Entrapment (HE/SHE) group has spoken out strongly on a topical issue. In a variety of circles around campus, students […]

REISS–  Construction on the Northeast Triangle slowed to a crawl this week as workers with Gilbane Construction began their union-mandated study abroad break on Friday.   The workers–whose contract guarantees one hour per day for lunch, overtime, and the ability to spend six months to a year at a foreign university–have reportedly chosen to study […]

TOLEDO — Dozens of students were reportedly “at a loss” after their friend’s former roommate’s mother’s boyfriend changes his Netflix password Thursday morning.   Said boyfriend, Jared Davidson, a 47 year-old salesman from Toledo, reportedly changed the password after noticing that the movie “Leprechaun 5: In the Hood” had been given a 4 star rating. […]

LAUINGER LIBRARY – During a long study session in the university library’s most popular floor on Saturday night, Kat Peterson (COL ’17) reportedly left her MacBook under the watchful eyes of a man wearing a ski mask and holding a pile of laptops “for safe keeping.”   “I had never met him before, but he […]

Time magazine drew criticism recently when it invited readers to vote on words to ban in 2015. Past winners of this annual poll have included “YOLO” and “twerk”, but this year many took umbrage at Time’s decision to include “feminist” on the list. With Time having lost all legitimacy, we at The Heckler feel it […]