The following conversation between David Axelrod and Barack Obama was overheard by The Heckler’s hidden White House microphone.

Yes, David, I’m all ready for the inauguration tomorrow. We already did the official swearing in today, this is just for the public. Roberts has his lines down for once, so it all should go smoothly. Oh, and one last thing: make sure Romney has a front row seat, okay?
Yeah, yeah, I know it’s short notice. But hey, I’m the president, and I’m allowed to use bipartisanship as a cover to gloat a little. Sound the horns and say we’re trying to bring America together. So long as I get to see the look on that smug bastard’s face when I say the oath of office.

I’ve got it all worked out in my head- I want to be looking directly at him as I say the words. While Roberts is saying his bit, I’ll be mouthing some things that would not make Michelle proud in the direction of Mitt the Twit. Hah! I still laugh about that one. I’ve even managed to work in twenty four separate references to him during my speech, after each of whi- yes, David, my speech. I’m allowed to make some edits of my own. But as I was saying, I’m going to point the bastard out each time.

Ah, it’s good to be president. I hope Fox picks up on this, it’d be nice to let them be right about something for a change. Now, about the economy, I’ve come to the conclusion that the only way to save the market is to BZZZZZTTTTT…

At this point The Heckler mic was discovered and destroyed.