HEALY – Coinciding with the massive spike in the cost of higher education, along with the growing prospects of underemployment, thousands of American high school seniors have opted to explode upwards of $200,000 as a better use of their money.     “Explosions are fucking sweet,” explained 18 year old Charlie Burns, a graduating high […]

When the Heckler looks at the fine candidates running for GUSA President whether they be Stewards, Second Stewards, or…Stewards draftees we are impressed but still left wanting. Sure they speak grandiloquently about “reform” and “accountability” and “plugging the leaks” but we all know that once elected they’ll become part of the same bland system that […]

Greetings, sun-bleached readers! It’s me, the editor of The Georgetown Heckler. I hope you all had fulfilling and arrest-free summers. But now another year begins which means another year to join a bunch of clubs that may or not be relevant to any of your interests. Now normally I would advise against joining any clubs. […]

Greetings, sexy readers, it’s me, the editor of The Georgetown Heckler, and I am thrilled to announce that our website has recovered from its crash. I’m sure you noticed that we crashed, because…well…of course you did. Following some minor emotional breakdowns and bourbon-fuelled crying episodes we are once again fully operational and ready to disperse […]

Greetings, readers! This is your semi-dazed editor here with an informative and indecent guide to March Madness. You all know that there are two kinds of March Madness: enthusiasm for the NCAA men’s basketball championship on the one hand, and on the other, a very specific seasonal affective disorder for people who really hate St. […]

Greetings, semi-valued readers and cheap-laugh enthusiasts. You all probably know that the election for GUSA president is coming up soon on some date we haven’t bothered to learn.  Now plenty of so-called “established” sources have already given their endorsements, from the current GUSA President to the cool Jesuits to the Stir Fry station workers. But […]