When the Heckler looks at the fine candidates running for GUSA President whether they be Stewards, Second Stewards, or…Stewards draftees we are impressed but still left wanting. Sure they speak grandiloquently about “reform” and “accountability” and “plugging the leaks” but we all know that once elected they’ll become part of the same bland system that […]
Reynolds Hall- With perilously low temperatures and massive snowfalls leading to class cancellations and limited mobility, Georgetown students have had to do the impossible and network just with their roommates. What was once a promising semester of industry-sponsored meet-and-greets and off-campus informational interviews has devolved into Georgetown’s version of cabin fever; namely exchanging, editing, and […]
To combat the new H*yas for Choice Condom Delivery Service, which some fear may lead to an increase in instances premarital sex, Georgetown’s Jesuit community is instituting a new rapid-action Abstinence Convincing Service for parties. The Heckler interviewed the director of the program, Fr. Dennis Holligan, SJ, in his office in Wolfington Hall. His office […]
In a bid to respond to Georgetown’s lack of future student housing and to rekindle America’s long-dormant fascination with space exploration, University administrators have proposed a $500 billion satellite satellite campus, which will rotate in a geosynchronous orbit just beyond Earth’s thermosphere. When pressed on the practicality of such an expensive endeavor, Vice President for […]
When senior SFS students Lawrence Pullman and Olivia Farley met their sophomore year, they didn’t have much in common. From opposite coasts and with completely different family backgrounds, they struggled to find any similarities. But eventually they became infatuated with each other, bonding over their mutual love of hiking and realism. In an interview with […]
Greetings, sun-bleached readers! It’s me, the editor of The Georgetown Heckler. I hope you all had fulfilling and arrest-free summers. But now another year begins which means another year to join a bunch of clubs that may or not be relevant to any of your interests. Now normally I would advise against joining any clubs. […]
Greetings, sexy readers, it’s me, the editor of The Georgetown Heckler, and I am thrilled to announce that our website has recovered from its crash. I’m sure you noticed that we crashed, because…well…of course you did. Following some minor emotional breakdowns and bourbon-fuelled crying episodes we are once again fully operational and ready to disperse […]
GEORGETOWN- In a move that has left students both excited and deeply confused Georgetown’s Office of Transportation Management has announced a new GUTS Bus to Nowhere. The new line will leave from Dahlgren Chapel on the 42nd minute of every other hour, taking passengers down to the Lincoln Memorial, through Anacostia, past the Chinatown Fuddruckers, […]
Greetings, readers! This is your semi-dazed editor here with an informative and indecent guide to March Madness. You all know that there are two kinds of March Madness: enthusiasm for the NCAA men’s basketball championship on the one hand, and on the other, a very specific seasonal affective disorder for people who really hate St. […]
Greetings, semi-valued readers and cheap-laugh enthusiasts. You all probably know that the election for GUSA president is coming up soon on some date we haven’t bothered to learn. Now plenty of so-called “established” sources have already given their endorsements, from the current GUSA President to the cool Jesuits to the Stir Fry station workers. But […]