OUTSIDE LEAVEY — Following the closing of another entrance after Thanksgiving break due to continued Northeast Triangle construction, University officials have reported students sole option to enter the Leavey Center is through the window of Todd Olson’s office on the fifth floor.

This controversial move, which the administration claims has been part of the campus plan all along, has drawn significant student outrage.

“The only way in or out is an unstable rope ladder nailed to his windowsill, which is incredibly dangerous,” reported Henle resident Ford Jenkins.  “And only one person can go up or down at a time, which means lines on both ends.”

While the University has denied claims that the ladder is dangerous, citing only two students falling to their death on the sharp rocks below thus far, campus tension is mounting.

Todd Olson, Vice President of Student Affairs, and owner of the office entrance, is apparently displeased as a constant stream of students entering his office has disrupted his work habits.

“They keep knocking over my knick knacks!” stated a visibly irritated Olson at press time, adding, “Why do these students even want to enter this building so badly?  It can’t be for Elevation Burger.”

With lines regularly out the door, Olson claims he has struggled to get work done since the change, as he is often forced to wait hours to enter his office in Leavey 530.

“I have to plan three days in advance if I need to enter the Leavey Center,” reported Freshman Samantha Eckersley (Col 18), who was at press time preparing for her trip to the book store next week.

However, some students are looking for positives with the new entrance.

“The ladder is almost unusable when there’s wind, and the window is only propped open by a small stick,, but on the five story climb, I can pretend to be a pirate,” stated Junior Alex Jefferson (SFS ’16) from last in line beneath the ladder. “So that took some of the edge off last week when I watched my friend slip and break his collarbone on the esplanade trying to get into Leavey.

At press time, Olson asked if he could close the window, stating he was “vewy cold.”