ICC— In a shocking turn of events, ICC 101 has been completely taken over by a horde of Varanus komodoensis — also known as Komodo dragons. Just how these large predatory lizards invaded the classroom is still unknown, as the University’s crisis investigators have gotten a slow start on the case.

“I found dozens of lizards thrashing about and sampling the air with their tongues, so I called the Department of University Management as soon as I could.” reported Professor Winston Jacobs.  “But after one hour and seven minutes of their hold music, I had to hang up. It was driving me crazy.”

Unfortunately for proponents of learning, it appears as though the reptiles may be here to stay. Their conservation status is listed as vulnerable, making it impossible to remove them from their new habitat without an extensive online exemption form for the United States Fish and Wildlife Service.  Administrators and conservationists have instructed students to accept the Komodo dragons, as they expect SaxaNet’s weak connection will delay completion of the form for months.

While a maintenance request has been filed to clean the room, already littered with the bones of any small mammals and birds foolish enough to enter and to be killed by the powerful jaws and venomous saliva of these monstrous beasts, the maintenance department does not expect to clean the room until early March at the earliest.

GUPD has been equally ineffective in handling the reptilian invaders, as the dragons were not “technically breaking any rules” and thus cannot be asked to show their GoCards until after 11pm.

“There’s nothing in the Code of Conduct against being a terrifying Indonesian Lizard,” stated a visually indifferent Police Chief Jay Gruber.  “Until the dragons have killed and eaten a student, there’s nothing we can do. Our hands are tied until the paperwork goes through next semester.