Watching with overwhelming sympathy, onlookers inside Leo O’Donovan Hall reported Thursday that as all other listeners shifted to a different conversation, freshman Steve Jacobs (COL ’19) mistakenly made eye contact with a friend telling a story about accounting class, and was trapped listening to the incredibly dull narrative alone. “…and then my professor said ‘Why don’t you check your work, John, the assets should equal the liabilities,’” the friend recounted as he refused to break eye contact and let his politely-nodding subject escape. “Oh, man. That sounds rough,” replied Jacobs with all the enthusiasm he could muster after already faking multiple misplaced laughs earlier in the story. At press time, sources reported seeing Steve’s eyes quickly scan the table for a possible rescuer while he tried to slowly shift his body back towards the rest of the group.