THE HEAVENS – Calling it a rookie mistake, God, the Most High, King of the Heavens and the Earth, told reporters Monday that he was kicking himself for believing that humans could act deferentially towards other humans of different skin colors and ethnicities. “I mean there I was thinking that having a nice variety of looks and colors would be a refreshing change, but oh boy was I wrong about that one. Every single day is a living reminder of how much of an overestimation that turned out to be,” admitted the Almighty Father, reminding his audience once again that He did in fact go through the extra effort to make sure that, biologically speaking, everyone was still exactly the same. “To be honest, it’s a little annoying,” He continued, “At first it was like, ‘Whatever, they’ll get over it soon,’ so I stopped paying attention and focused on some other side projects. I come back in 2016 to all these White supremacy groups and I’m all like, ‘What?! Damn, I really ate shit on this one.’” At press time, God added he was so close to adding yet another prophet but said He was “so relieved he didn’t end up doing that”, either.