WASHINGTON – At 10:30am this past Tuesday morning, Ashley Hemsworth (COL ‘20) of Dubuque, Iowa gave an especially impassioned tour. She strutted backward without even the slightest stumble (despite her humble assurances to her prospective pupils that she is terrible at walking backwards and would certainly hit snags), she masterfully fielded questions from the especially ambitious parents of especially embarrassed children, and she even included some charmingly goofy anecdotes from her own Georgetown experience. In addition to the knack she showed in delivering a near-perfect tour, Ashley included a touch of pure masterclass.

Just as the tour began to approach something of a lull midway, as the Hoya hopefuls saw the buildings that hide behind Healy Hall for the first time, Ashley made a judgment call. Now was the time to rope these starry-eyed school-goers back in. Her method? She asked the crowd if there were any John Mulaney fans in attendance. Hands of parents and prospectives shot up because after all, Mulaney’s likable stage persona and charm translates across generations. Ashley proudly expounded that Mr. Mulaney once roamed this very campus. There were several raised eyebrows accompanied by slight head nods. People were impressed.

So what did Ashley do right here? She used one of our more distinguished alumni to provide an example for the next generation of Georgetowners. Also, she failed to include the fact that John Mulaney suffered from significant drug addiction issues while roaming this very campus. After all, if she did mention the fact that Mulaney spent his time at Georgetown bumping fat lines of nose candy with his friends, perhaps some of the more academically inclined students and parents would be less impressed than they were otherwise. So because of the acumen showed by this clever tour guide, admission numbers should keep going up, up, up. Well done Ashley!