Hoya Saxa! We are proud to announce that we are consolidating all of the programs and resource centers for students who do not fit our standard (i.e., most visible and lucrative) demographic into the basement of New South Hall. The basement is now to be renamed the “You Are Different Than Us Memorial Basement” in honor of the Jesuit tradition of being nice and condescending to those who are less fortunate and being respectful of our differences. 

Do any of these centers and programs want to be there? Nope, not really, but we must do what is best for the students. The students don’t like it? Well they must just not understand it! Think programs like GSP should be in highly visible, highly respected Georgetown spaces like Healy Hall? I ask you — what is more “visible” and eye-opening than placing them in the basement of a freshman dorm with structural integrity issues?! Nothing! Where would we even put the  Administrator’s Recreation Room (AKA “Bobby’s Trampoline Office”) if we didn’t move GSP into the “You Are Different Than Us Memorial Basement?” 

How do you tell if you belong in the “You Are Different Than Us Memorial Basement”? Take archetypal and standard Georgetown students John (C’ 22) and Casey (MSB ‘21), for example. John and Casey are straight, white, third-generation legacies with houses with pools in Burleith and prefer to keep their Instagram followings small and exclusive. John and Casey would not go to the basement. If you, unlike John and Casey, just so happen to fall into the not straight, not white, not legacy, not wealthy categories (we try to stay away from discussing identity with words like “Lower Income” or “Gay” or “First-Gen” or “Black” because they are just too controversial and would probably make us look pretty bad in this case)… you just might belong in the “You Are Different Than Us Memorial Basement!” So get on down there, kiddos! Oh, how do you get there? Umm…to be honest, I didn’t even know that New South had a basement until recently but it’s probably, just… yep, right through that dark hallway! Just go on down there and, uh, see ya when we see ya!