Sophomore Bernard Manilow (COL ‘23), is majoring in Portuguese and Spanish with a Creative Writing minor, and yet he still manages to find time in between his short stories and foreign films to go hang out with your mom. When asked about how he juggles all these responsibilities, Bernard explained, “There is a strong sense of duty instilled in us by the department to make it all work. Even if I’m tired and I’ve had a long day, I hate to leave your mom waiting by the door.”

Georgetown is known across the country for its esteemed language programs. Chair of the Slavic Language department, Lioudmila Fedorova, said “We run a pretty tight ship here in the Slavic Department. Even so, we can never quite measure up to what they’re doing over there in the Romance Department. I would have of course preferred that my mother remained faithful to my father, but I can’t blame her for succumbing to the well-spoken students in the Romance Department.”

Victor Cha, professor in the Asian Studies Department echoed Fedorova’s sentiments, saying “We can publish peer-reviewed papers all night long, but there is still something emasculating about knowing the Romance Department is sending students to my mother’s house while I’m working.”

Although The Heckler reached out to the head of the Spanish and Portuguese Department for comment, we only received an out-of-office message telling us that everyone in the department was “busy,” with a voice much like our mother’s in the background saying “who is that?”