Jack the Bulldog was pulled over by the MPD this Saturday while driving his teeny-weeny, itsy-bitsy Toyota Tacoma (so cute!) at 10:34 PM. He was subsequently taken into custody after refusing to take a breathalyzer or field sobriety test — and he continued to refuse any test while in custody. The Heckler’s sources in the police department said the arresting officers reported his breath “smelled really bad, like he had been licking other dogs’ asses, and also kind of like beer I guess.”

As of today, Mr. Bulldog’s only public comment on the matter has been the following statement released on all of his social media accounts:

“Last night, Mr. Bulldog relaxed after a rough game with his good friend, the Budweiser Dalmatian, and partook in a few drinks. At no point did he ever feel intoxicated, nor did he consume enough to impair his ability to drive his adorable miniature Toyota Tacoma in any way. Jack simply asserted his right as an American citizen to refuse an undue search in the form of a baseless sobriety test. We hope the public and our good friends at Toyota will wait to make any rash judgments until Jack has received his day in court. Thank you, and Hoya Saxa.”

DC law does allow drivers to refuse sobriety tests of any kind unless involved in a traffic accident without being charged for an additional crime or a separate crime for refusing. However, regardless of the results of his trial, Jack will likely face, at minimum, a one-year revocation of his license. Toyota has yet to comment on the situation, but things do not bode well for Georgetown’s plastered purebred.