“I don’t have a student visa…but my Mastercard should work right?” asked Katie Ward (COL ’24) as she waited for her flight to “Bar-the-lona” to take off. 

One Good Samaritan tried to guide her in the right direction. Wilson Navarro (SFS ’24) quipped, “I read that for a Schengen country, if you are in the country for more than 90 days…” but Ward cut in saying, “You’re right, I should get Euros too.”

Ward then launched into a lengthy explanation of how the Euro is actually lower than the Dollar for the first time in a long time, and that will “make clubbing so much cheaper.” Ward also flaunted her ability to say “I don’t speak Spanish,” “Ecstasy,” and “without a condom” in Spanish. 

By law, Katie has 90 days to be in Spain without a visa until she is extradited. Legal consultants at The Heckler say her only chance to stay in Spain now is a marital visa. When questioned about the possibility of this, Katie was quoted saying, “Marital visa? Like a joint bank account?” 

If Katie is extradited from the country, she will be responsible for 100% of the expenses. Luckily, brief investigation shows that the Spanish Immigration Police do accept Mastercard.