Once a Hoya, always a Hoya. 

After many autumns of successful New Student Orientation (NSO) programs, Georgetown’s Orientation, Transition & Family Engagement Team will finally give older Hoyas an equally invigorating experience through OSO: Old Student Orientation. Rather than being oriented with the campus and Georgetown’s academic system, alumni aged 65 years and older will be oriented with the concepts of selfless sacrifice and living through others.

That’s right! For its pilot semester, OSO will allow old Hoyas to literally live through the Class of 2026 by harvesting their viable organs and implanting them within the bodies of bright, young first-years. What greater gift is there, than the gift of redundant organ functionality? Definitely not financial aid, no. So, new Hoyas, be sure to pick up your complimentary kidney and small intestine at the Lauinger Library circulation desk after the first day of NSO, and be doubly sure to check the blood type scribbled onto each bag. And don’t worry about taking more than one bag – there won’t be any shortage of donors. None of it is voluntary! Senior citizen Hoyas – don’t try to escape your duty. It’s time to finally bleed Hoya blue.