Bill Clinton (SFS ‘68) is a world renowned statesman, diplomat, perjurer, philanthropist, adulterer, and most importantly, Georgetown alumnus. As a true Renaissance man, he is constantly seeking to expand his boundaries, and the final frontier, he’s decided, is eating cockroaches regularly!

As he gazed at his own off-putting face he explained, “Roaches everywhere like we forgot to take the trash out.” As his thick Arkansas accent rattled around his skull, his left eyeball shook loose of its socket and was left dangling in the middle of his gaunt cheek by the optic nerve. “Don’t leave me honey!” He said with a chuckle, easily popping his eye back into place.

He continued, “I never let Hillary take out the trash so we can attract enough roaches to satiate my appetite! I find myself losing interest in every aspect of life besides that addictive crunch.” Without looking, his hand shot to the wall where he grabbed a cockroach, tossed it into his greedily gnashing teeth, straightened his tie, and he jauntily trotted out the door for a meeting with the New World Order.