Oscar Mayer, not Oscar Meyer. Looney Tunes, not Looney Toons. A nuclear family of bears, not an age-play polycule. Everybody experiences this feeling once in a while. Something you were so certain was real—like the powerful polyamorous love shared between four fictional bears—turns out to be only a false memory.

I hadn’t thought about the Berenstain Bears, that saucy quadruple (or so I thought), since I was maybe seventeen, until I walked into the children’s section of the bookstore the other day to pick up a new book about my favorite handyman, Rob the Builder. But on the shelves were several Berenstain books, and I decided to pick one up and take a look. To my horror, they called each other things like “mom” and “dad,” and not in a sexy way! I read further, then asked a nearby shopper if they remembered the Berenstain Bears as a sexually liberated and promiscuous group of bears, and not some boring ass family of four. Then I was asked to leave the bookstore.