Bad news, guys. You know that girl in the back-left of your IR class? Yeah, she just discovered Adobe Photoshop, and it’s fucking over for everyone. Your entire Instagram feed is about to be aesthetic, pastel-blobs with curly little fonts superimposed on top, describing to you the imminence of the dangers of vaping. Just let me rip my fucking AirBar in peace, Rachel!!!

We, at the Heckler, have decided to unburden the rest of you and compile a list of ways you can live your life infographic-free. With no further ado, here is The Heckler’s Ten Ways to Make The Infographic Girl in Your IR Class Shut the Fuck Up.

1. You could unite the rest of your section into an angry mob against her, show up at her dorm after midnight, and drive a stake through her heart.
2. Maybe bark at her every time she walks into the classroom?
3. Send her photo and location in the free food group chat and let the ravenous savages descend upon her.
4. ALSO download Adobe Photoshop. That’s right, I’m going to make an infographic about your infographic. Who’s fucked now?
5. Is that a gun in her backpack or a pencil case? No idea! Either way, I’m alerting the authorities.
6. Plant hard drugs in her backpack and also alert the authorities, or just SWAT her entire dorm honestly.
7. Make a fake GUSA Instagram campaign page for her and let the shame of that alone drive her from this campus.
8. Find out whatever she’s allergic to, eat it in class, and then spit it up on her.
9. This summer, get an internship at Lockheed Martin! It’ll be great. After 10 years of working your way up the ladder, use your power and influence to steal a drone and strike her down where she stands.
10. Just delete your entire phone and drop off the map. You’re so fucked. There’s no escaping her.