We, the Hecklers, cannot keep our silence any longer. It has been over two full months under the new Editor-in-Chief’s reign, and culture is dying. Since taking office, Duchess Barbara Knittingford of Hartford, CT, has ruined the club, and we Hecklers are here to blow the lid off this thing.  For starters, she’s a woman, […]

5. Salvador Dali. Thin, elegant, ever so delicate. Some would say his stache was his finest piece of art. Others say there is a tiny elf that is perched on the end of it, whispering hymns and riddles to inspire Dali. 4. Groucho Marx. Angular, geometric, intentional. A man with black grease paint and a […]

Ah, yes, the classic coming-of-age struggle of ridding oneself of all earthly desires in the name of total enlightenment while also trying to bust every now and then. We at the Heckler know the difficulty of balancing one’s Buddhist intentions while looking like an absolute 10/10, so we have compiled a short listicle of 5 […]

Following an anonymous tip on recent campus canine circumstances, Barbara reports on our findings after a protected other Heckler went undercover in the Office of Neighborhood Life: The Office of Neighborhood Life at Georgetown has apparently been working overtime since their Summer ‘24 Census brought troubling news: Jack the Bulldog’s approval rating has plunged since […]

The Heckler was recently contacted by Tyler Whiteface, 23, MSB ‘28, a six-time freshman who has almost passed all his classes this time! Whiteface was eager to provide a column on his impressions of freshman year, as a seasoned professional of the craft. Whiteface, 23, from White Plains, NY, submitted two drafts before submitting the […]

Bad news, guys. You know that girl in the back-left of your IR class? Yeah, she just discovered Adobe Photoshop, and it’s fucking over for everyone. Your entire Instagram feed is about to be aesthetic, pastel-blobs with curly little fonts superimposed on top, describing to you the imminence of the dangers of vaping. Just let […]

This cool guy does many cool things! Here are some cool things that he does that make him cool. 1. He’s read Lolita, “for the language”! 2. He does poppers! 3. He hand-steeps his tea, in a Smeg press! 4. He took one (1) gender studies class, but he already knew all that stuff anyway! […]

You don’t know him. He doesn’t know you. But you’ve seen him all over campus and on your Pinterest boards. You can’t get him out of your mind. Does he even know you exist? Probably not. Everyone wants him; No one can have him. Alas, wonder no more! We, Hecklers, have taken the liberty to […]

Dear Diary, Today, I went back. I couldn’t help myself. The cedar wood, the oh-so-right cushions that support my body in the perfect way, and the perfectly dimmed lighting just make me feel like I’m waiting to be seen by Mr. Gray. When I ascend the spiral staircase, it’s like I’m entering a portal into […]

Georgetown students: We heard you. After the outrageous injustice that was the abdication of Corp Rewards and with it, the potential for free extra-extra-extra iced teas at Mug, we decided it was time to give the people what they really wanted.  Corp Rewards has officially been revamped! Introducing Corp Cards: At your next visit to […]