The Georgetown community was rocked by scandal yesterday after students uncovered an unmarked grave beneath the surface of Copley Lawn containing the presumed remains of former mascot-in-training, J.J. The grave was discovered by Alex Ortega (SFS ’15), a cutter on the Georgetown Ultimate Frisbee team. Taking advantage of the upswing in temperature, Ortega and some […]
Hello, dear readers. We here at The Heckler love a good joke. But today, we would like to take a moment to talk to you about something of a more serious nature. It’s an issue that has struck deeply at the heart of our country and the heart of the university we love so dearly. […]
The Dahlgren Chapel of the Sacred Heart will be rededicated this Saturday after over twelve months of renovations. Here are some of the new features students can expect to see in the chapel: Magnetic locks on doors will prevent bad Catholics from leaving after Communion Chapel to display macaroni art Stations of the Cross designed […]
The American culture war heated up last week when celebrity science educator, Bill Nye “the Science Guy,” agreed to a debate over the merits of creationism as a viable explanation of human origins. Now tensions have escalated again after Mr. Nye challenged his opponent to a steel cage rematch that will finally decide “once and […]
It resembled something out of a nightmare. Grown men were reduced to flinging themselves at doors bolted shut, uttering cries of anguish before they collapsed into puddles of tears. Women wailed and gnashed their teeth as they rent the clothing upon their breasts. The very sky itself seemed to darken, and the January chill bit […]
Georgetown students rejoiced this week following an announcement from Wisemiller’s Grocery & Deli that the store will now be offering free delivery by means of drones. Long a favorite of Georgetown students, “Wisey’s”—as the deli is affectionately called—is famous for its popular sandwiches, including the Burger Madness, the Chicken Madness, and the Hot Chick. Yet […]
Georgetown DPS officers arrested the entire staff of the University Information Services yesterday after it was discovered that the department was in fact a front for a major phishing scam. University administrators estimate that in the last three months, UIS gained access to the personal information of over 3,000 students through a carefully-organized campaign of […]