We get it: You LOVE horses. We do too. And we’ve got some pretty freakin’ good news: The four horsemen of the apocalypse are here, and their handsome stallions have lustrous, flowing manes! “Impossible!” you might cry out. We’ll say it again: these horses are handsome. The first one’s name is “Pestilence” and he is […]

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Uh-oh! Looks like Lincoln got out of his massive stone seat at the Memorial for just, like, one minute and then this kid took it. Tough luck! That’s what happens when you forget to call dibs, Mr. Lincoln. “Well, shit,” Lincoln’s hundred-foot-tall stony likeness told the Heckler while glancing around for another […]

I simply do not believe it: It has been 14 years since the classic comedy-adventure movie ‘Holes’ was first released. Wow. So much has happened in that time! Let’s check back in on the most memorable holes of the movie and see what they’re up to today.     Looking good, man! Believe it or […]

UNITED STATES – After sending out emails this morning that had yet to be responded to by mid-afternoon, the nation’s moms announced via text that they were just checking in to see if everything was OK. “Do you need anything?” wrote Sheryl Bates, one of the many millions of moms, from her living room, “I […]

ARLINGTON – Every parent can be a tiny bit too strict sometimes – it’s natural. The CEO of the internationally acclaimed consumer advice publication U.S. News and World Report just proved he’s no different: this morning he released a comprehensive ranking of his four kids. “What do the best universities and the best families have […]

QUIZ: Is Your Mysterious Friend Just Tall And From New England Or Is He A Lighthouse?   He never shuts up about how he’s from New England and he never shuts off that massive floodlight attached to his face. So annoying! Before you met your mysterious friend from New England, how did other people describe […]

COPLEY HALL – After an especially quiet evening in Copley 302, Chaplain-in-Residence Peter Anthony explained to the Heckler over an untouched plate of brownies that, “Apparently God’s plan for me involves a lot of sparsely-attended tea and snack sessions, I guess.” Anthony went on to reveal that, despite his best efforts to get “at least […]

HARBIN – This morning Maxwell Crouch (SFS ’21) reportedly shoved a world map poster his roommate bought into an industrial-strength shredder due to the outdated Sudanese borders. It’s the latest in a string of similar incidents with SFS students. Just last week an SFS sophomore ripped several decorative national flags out of Village A windows on […]

Is Your Medieval Studies Professor On Sabbatical Or Is He Sealed Inside This Old Mirror? It’s high time section 05 of Medieval Manuscript Cultures 203 knew the truth.   1. When you interrupt your professor in the middle of lecture to say, “Yes, but when are we going to learn about Merlin?” how does he […]