Following a long and heated debate regarding the cultural theme of Georgetown University’s newest academic building, university administrators announced Friday that the recently completed Intra-Cultural Center will specifically focus on Serbian culture and accomplishments. Sorting through hundreds of potential cultures over the course of seven months, university officials and students finally came to an agreement […]

LEAVEY CENTER — Citing constant malfunctions from their current espresso machine, Uncommon Grounds’ (“UG”) Director of Operations announced that the storefront will soon be using an alternative-fuel device to make students’ coffee. The Rejectionetti, an in-house model developed by the Student’s of Georgetown’s (“The Corp”) Information Technology Department, will be powered solely by rejected applications […]

VILLAGE C WEST — Saying there was “no way” she could hold out any longer against one of the hotter trends among the freshmen class, freshman Sarah Lancaster (COL ’18) decided Tuesday night to acquire an anxiety disorder of her own. Noticing that many of her friends and floor mates had either come to college […]

On 18 September, the people of Scotland will choose whither to separate from the United Kingdom and become a free nation. This referendum is just another part of the centuries-long struggle of our people against the tyranny of the English bastards to the south—a struggle in which I am proud to hae played no small […]

BROWN HOUSE — Last week when texting friends about weekend plans sophomore Kate Young (MSB ’17) purportedly gave the same response to all who inquired, “I am going to Brown House on Thursday!! Kill me. HOW EMBARRASSING.” Young’s weekend plans took an unexpected turn when the host of her friend’s birthday became unexpectedly available and […]

COPLEY — Citing his experience as “totally eye-opening” sophomore Julian Cartwright (SFS ’17) returned from an hour long study abroad information session about Lyon, France as “a totally different person.” Cartwright attempted to explain to his suite mates about what made the study abroad information session so enlightening, but often struggled to find the words […]

WHITE-GRAVENOR – For the first time in history, sources familiar with the alumni network of Georgetown University confirmed Friday that the network experienced a full and wide-reaching outage from which it is yet to recover. At roughly 10:00 PM EST on Thursday, September 10th, Georgetown alumni around the world are said to have become heavily […]