Village B – Students were recently evicted from their top floor apartments after Vil B roof began to sulk about how hard its week had been. “I have three midterms this week and a load of homework, I just don’t know if I can keep it up,” it commented. Vil B’s residents claim to have seen the roof fall in a number of instances, causing many to worry about its ability to handle a Georgetown workload.

Flooria Smith (Col ‘19), ex- girlfriend of Vil B roof, in a tell-all interview revealed that during their sexual encounters it often had trouble keeping it up. On the subject of their recent breakup, she said that they, “never had a solid foundation.” She added that, “I knew he was under a lot of stress, but I never thought it could sink so low.”

Vil B roof is going through a hard time, so we implore all of our readers to check in on Vil B roof from time to time, just to see how it’s holding up.