LOS ANGELES? – Did you have the audacity to assume that baseball might be over by now? Could you even conceive of the fact that there might still be more baseball? Well it’s time to get your head out of your ass and embrace reality because according to all available reports, baseball is going to […]

UNITED STATES – After sending out emails this morning that had yet to be responded to by mid-afternoon, the nation’s moms announced via text that they were just checking in to see if everything was OK. “Do you need anything?” wrote Sheryl Bates, one of the many millions of moms, from her living room, “I […]

Sharing space can be tricky sometimes—especially when your roommate needs the room for a romantic rendezvous. It’s the right thing to do to give your roommate the space she needs, but sometimes it can be hard to fill the time. Here are some suggestions for fun activities that will make this inconvenience fly by.   […]

5 Photos of Washington, D.C. in Autumn That Sinners Like Us Don’t Deserve WASHINGTON – That magical time of year is nearly upon us in the District of Columbia, when the crisp, rejuvenating fall air blows in and the foliage begins its breathtaking transition into autumnal color. It’s the perfect time for Georgetown students to […]

SAN FRANCISCO – In an effort to reverse the tide on company revenue amidst heavy critique from shareholders last quarter, Uber made the announcement earlier today that they will be offering 25% off fares in exchange for the scalp of a Lyft driver. Lucky for rideshare enthusiasts who always on the go, getting this discount […]

GEORGETOWN, D.C. With the excitement of election season is dying down, GUSA seems at an impasse now that their main campaign agenda item has already been achieved. According to a GUSA spokesman earlier this morning, the institution is “not entirely sure” what to do next now that it seems like the senate is “pretty dang […]

In an act of true romance, sources indicate that on Tuesday night MSB Student Gerard Hampton (‘19) chose to forward an email detailing a lucrative internship opportunity to his crush Suzanne Rice (MSB ‘20). Hampton said that he knew he had to make a big statement to Rice that would “show Suzy how deep my […]

NATIONAL HARBOR, M.D. – After another successful weekend for the Georgetown Sailing Team, expectations continue to rise to new heights. Currently ranked the No. 1 Coed team in the nation, many fans forecast a championship in the team’s future, or at least several brutal lightning raids on lightly defended coastal towns. Senior Sailing Captain, Chip Lugworth (MSB […]