Ferdinand Magellan, Neil Armstrong, Frodo Baggins – all of these bold adventurers of old pale in comparison to Jake, your next-door neighbor. He sashays barefoot through the diverse ecosystem that is your floor’s communal bathroom, with no regard for his own safety or health. Such brazen defiance is not without consequences, as the entirety of […]

GEORGETOWN — Associate Professor Charles Mulvicky has come under fire recently for his zero-tolerance policy towards late work. The Heckler was able to reach Professor Mulvicky for comment in his office in New North. “Turning in your work late is disrespectful to me, and to all of your classmates who got their work done on […]

GEORGETOWN — The widespread Hoya enthusiasm surrounding this year’s commencement was disrupted this morning after an announcement by the Office of the President that the aforementioned ceremonies would be held exclusively in Farsi.  The announcement stated that “In order to achieve an in-person graduation ceremony we had to make some sacrifices, including limiting the number […]

As the Heckler’s chief sports reporter, I have covered numerous sporting events spanning a decades-long body of work. This year was my first covering the Masters, and I must admit that I found the atmosphere stifling. The dress code, noise, and distance restrictions were onerous and as a result I was asked to leave on […]

Before the pandemic, Mrs. Winter’s 5th grade class shared custody of Cupcake, a 3 year old hamster, with each student getting a turn to bring a furry friend home for the weekend. Cupcake’s travel plans, like so many other’s, have been put on hold recently, due to the pandemic. While virtual school has resumed, health […]

EPICUREAN AND COMPANY—.   Open 24 hours on weekends, and a party that doesn’t require club connections or friends, Epi is the Vill A Rooftop of dining. So when the other thing you just showed up to inevitably gets shut down, there is no better solution than to buy yourself some plans for the low low […]

DAVIS PERFORMING ARTS CENTER– Georgetown has long been proud to be the home of a thriving arts scene, and been ashamed for an equally long time to be home to a thriving student art scene. Various theater organizations have a history of putting on wonderful productions, from Tony Karam’s Speech and Debate to Qui Nguyen’s […]

GEORGETOWN— Since the beginning of last week, all around campus special editions of the Georgetown Voice have been distributed, celebrating that newspaper’s 50th anniversary. We here at the Georgetown Heckler have also been celebrating an anniversary, we just decided not to be so obnoxious about it. The Heckler Staff congratulates the Georgetown Voice on their […]

GEORGETOWN– The MSB’s annual Rocket Pitch competition, presented by Startup Hoyas, is currently entering its third day. This competition is designed to allow promising MSB students to mash the words “Uber” or “Netflix” or “Chipotle” with currently existing industries in exchange for cartoonishly large checks. Last year’s winner was Ta2Go, described by its founders as […]