Dating is hard and emotionally draining. Sure, you and your partner can make each other happy, but a relationship requires effort on both sides––sometimes, you just don’t have the emotional energy for that because the intricate network of global trade around the world is disintegrating. Put yourself first king, and we at The Heckler are […]

I’m a white guy, but don’t worry––it’s cool. I’m one of the good ones. I totally recognize my privilege and I’m like an ally and stuff too. And not to flex, but today I was such a good ally when I called out this sexist author in my IR Class. We’re learning about realism and […]

WASHINGTON DC — A group of new COVID variants has petitioned the National Panhellenic Conference to allow them to form a new sorority. With the recent arrival of the Omicron variant and Delta gaining traction over the last summer, the COVID variants are afraid of losing relevance and have decided to unite and form a […]

Welcome to the world’s most difficult game! It’s time to play “Is this a quote from Squid Game, or an econ major who believes in the free market?” “If you work hard and play the game right, you can succeed.” This is the econ major! In a free market, all it takes is pulling yourself […]

Op-ed by Clovis P. Butterworth and Dani Ardor, former graduate student in psychology and current May Queen of the Hårga  **All opinions stated in this article most definitely reflect the opinions of the Heckler editorial board. Winter is coming up and people say it’s cuffing season. I disagree. The only person you should be cuffing […]

We at the Heckler were very intrigued by the presence of these “Knights of Columbus” flyers around campus, so we decided to infiltrate one of their meetings by sending in an undercover reporter.  We heard that this was a “male Catholic fraternity,” so we sent Rufus Wheeler Peckham into the meeting wearing a Vineyard Vines […]

We see you’re trying to log into your account, so we’ve created this new Captcha quiz to test whether or not you’re a robot! Please answer these five questions about whether this is Vanessa Hudgens, a van of pigeons, or vanilla hummus to prove that you’re not a robot. Question 1: Vanessa Hudgens, van of […]