Time magazine drew criticism recently when it invited readers to vote on words to ban in 2015. Past winners of this annual poll have included “YOLO” and “twerk”, but this year many took umbrage at Time’s decision to include “feminist” on the list. With Time having lost all legitimacy, we at The Heckler feel it […]

WASHINGTON —   Muriel Bowser won the D.C. mayoral race with 54.5% of the vote, doing particularly well in the eastern half of the district and raking in 18,771 votes in precincts with a typical income of less than $50K.   One workingman, however, has expressed major concerns with Bowser.   This citizen has chosen to […]

KENNEDY CENTER – Showcasing a stunning range of modern South Asian fusion and classical dances, Rangila is one of the most popular events on campus each year and draws hundreds of students in signups each year.   Amidst the hoopla of its new location in the Kennedy Center, this year Rangila will feature a record […]

WASHINGTON — Earlier tonight the GUSA Senate narrowly approved a bill to authorize construction of the Keystone and Natty pipelines which will extract crude beer from Canadian tar sands and funnel it directly to New South, the Village A rooftops, and the Jesuit Residence. The bill barely overcame the 20-vote threshold for passage by a […]

In the pursuit of culinary excellence one must take risks. And in the world of culinary risks, one has never felt more threatened than when walking into Quick Pita.   Having walked into pita-shops blackout in numerous countries during my time as a drunk food critic, I have not only eaten, but regurgitated my fair […]

HARIRI —  In an unexpected announcement, the McDonough School of Business will begin offering a seven-credit course entitled “Academic Eligibility” in the Marketing department in the spring of 2015.   University Registrar praised the new course as “ground breaking” and “totally legitimate.”   The course, brainchild of Basketball Coach John Thompson III, was available this […]

GEORGETOWN COLLEGE, KENTUCKY — Coming on the heels of the announcement in April that introduced a three-year on-campus housing requirement for all students, Georgetown administrators are now reportedly “strongly” considering a fourth-year requirement, an initiative that would send all future senior classes to Georgetown College in Kentucky.   Georgetown College, a private liberal arts school […]

The Heckler’s sports experts breakdown and break up with each Big East team for the 2014-15 season. Villanova Wildcats   Strengths: Ability to get their head in the game   Weaknesses: Boys with wavy brown hair and blue eyes   Key Stat to Watch: Their win/loss record   Georgetown Hoyas   Strengths: Wonderful internship opportunities […]