Taking 40% of the votes cast, “The Heal” is the winner (loser) of the Heckler’s word to ban in 2015. Thank you for not saying “The Heal.”

RED SQUARE – Witnesses confirmed Wednesday afternoon that Keith Hansen (SFS ’17) followed a trail of pizza slices leading to a large cardboard box propped up with a stick that subsequently collapsed, trapping the Georgetown student under the box.   Onlookers corroborated reports that Hansen was seen at approximately 2 p.m. frantically picking up slices […]

Multi-Sport Field – Georgetown University’s football team celebrated the end of the 2014 season today by awarding each player a special trophy for participation.   After beating Holy Cross to end the season 3-8, head coach Rob Sgarlata called his players together for an end-of-season ceremony.   “Great hustle today, guys,” Sgarlata told the team. […]

HEALY CIRCLE — “Every time a tour gets led and they refer to the ‘Gentle-MAN behind me’ my skin starts to crawl,” stated Jess Yu (NHS ‘18) to the Heckler.   Recently, Hotly Entrenched Students Hating Entrapment (HE/SHE) group has spoken out strongly on a topical issue. In a variety of circles around campus, students […]

REISS–  Construction on the Northeast Triangle slowed to a crawl this week as workers with Gilbane Construction began their union-mandated study abroad break on Friday.   The workers–whose contract guarantees one hour per day for lunch, overtime, and the ability to spend six months to a year at a foreign university–have reportedly chosen to study […]

TOLEDO — Dozens of students were reportedly “at a loss” after their friend’s former roommate’s mother’s boyfriend changes his Netflix password Thursday morning.   Said boyfriend, Jared Davidson, a 47 year-old salesman from Toledo, reportedly changed the password after noticing that the movie “Leprechaun 5: In the Hood” had been given a 4 star rating. […]

LAUINGER LIBRARY – During a long study session in the university library’s most popular floor on Saturday night, Kat Peterson (COL ’17) reportedly left her MacBook under the watchful eyes of a man wearing a ski mask and holding a pile of laptops “for safe keeping.”   “I had never met him before, but he […]