WHITE-GRAVENOR — Citing his “complete lack of preparation” for the world outside of the front gates, Senior Chris Mitchell (MSB ’14) quietly preregistered for classes last week for the fall of 2014 in the hopes no one would notice. “Well I wasn’t locked out of pre-registration on MyAccess,” said Mitchell in an email to The […]
GEORGETOWN — Citing a recent surge in malware attacks, including the powerful “Heartbleed” security breech, Georgetown Chief Information Officer Lisa Davis urgently requested all Georgetown students destroy their technology. At a sparsely-attended emergency press conference in the UIS Executive Office on Wednesday Davis outlined how the crisis unfolded: “at first we requested everyone change their […]
The Georgetown community was rocked by scandal yesterday after students uncovered an unmarked grave beneath the surface of Copley Lawn containing the presumed remains of former mascot-in-training, J.J. The grave was discovered by Alex Ortega (SFS ’15), a cutter on the Georgetown Ultimate Frisbee team. Taking advantage of the upswing in temperature, Ortega and some […]
GEORGETOWN — As he notified he the world this week, Pleasure Place Owner Frankie Carlondie’s store will be closing up shop in the near future. This announcement set off a panic among students on the hilltop who were in need of gag gifts. “This closure could not have come at a worst time,” said Business […]
WASHINGTON — Calling it a “sad sight” the President of Georgetown’s Rejected Students Program (GRSP) Andrea Friori (SFS’16) lamented the low attendance of last weekend’s Rejected Student’s Weekend. At a press conference, Friori described the weekend as “a moment of soul searching for what our organization stands for.” The program, founded in 1985, was designed […]
Tuesday federal authorities were notified that an illicit substance was found in a Georgetown Residence Hall. This reporter had the chance to interview Terry York, a sophomore who claims to have been evacuated from the floor where this substance was found. This is my exclusive interview: HECKLER: Do you live in this building? TERRY: Yeah, […]
WASHINGTON –In what is being called “the biggest aviation mystery of the century”, the disappearance of Flight 726A transporting the Georgetown University Hoya basketball team to their first round match in the NCAA Men’s Division I Championship continues to baffle both tournament officials and fans alike. As the search for the team, described as a […]
REISS — Calling it one of the more anxious moments of his educational life Theology Professor Andrew Walter managed slide through his THEO 434 Seminar without doing the reading. “I just have a lot going on in other classes right now, okay?” said Walter who watched four uninterrupted hours of Netflix the day before teaching […]
Warren Buffet is offering one billion dollars for a perfect bracket, my advice is free. But you also get what you pay for. SOUTH BRACKET 1 Florida v 16 UA/MS Mary: Florida has the cure for MS (Mary) Pick: Florida 8 Colorado v 9 Pittsburg: Evenly matched numbers here, legalization gives Colorado the high, but […]
WASHINGTON — Inspired by their own experiences as prospective students, 250 volunteers will introduce 400 high school seniors to the clothing chain Gap this weekend. Emma Spicci (MSB ʼ16), who attended a Gap weekend last spring, said the warmth and soft fabrics she noticed in Gap clothes when she visited prompted her to join Gap […]