CAWLEY CAREER CENTER — Calling it an “unexpected disappointment” senior Sean DeBraggio (MSB ’15) was notified by email that he was not selected for a second round interview to hook up with Mackenzie Kinsington. After extensive research, mock interviews and several thorough coffee chats DeBraggio was convinced he had a second round interview.“I talked with […]

HARBIN — In a recent phone call with his parents, freshman Kyle Spencer (COL ‘18) shared that he “loves all DC has to offer” and that after half a semester he “really knows the ropes” of the nation’s capital.   Kyle called his family after returning from Dupont Circle, to regale them with his adventures […]

VILLAGE A — After the passage of the marijuana legalization ballot initiative thrust the District to the forefront of a nationwide movement, Georgetown students reportedly celebrated this week by getting “totally wasted” on an assortment of alcoholic beverages.    The initiative, which passed with a strong majority, was welcomed by students taking shots and shotgunning beers. […]

HEALY — A group of Georgetown students pulled of a major heist this weekend in what is being called “the biggest prank of the decade”. The unknown group of students in question managed to steal the hands of President DeGioia.   In a statement released from Vice President of Student Affairs Todd Olson, DeGioia reportedly […]

RED SQUARE  — Tensions escalated yesterday in the ongoing conflict between the Chinese Student Alliance (CSA) and the Taiwanese Student Association (TSA). Belligerent posturing by the CSA as the two groups were tabling in Red Square prompted a university response when President DeGioia dispatched a squad of campus police as a deterrent force against any […]

HENLE VILLAGE — Dealing with a 17 year old inquiry, Georgetown University Maintenance reportedly has not yet received the necessary part to fix the broken VCR in Henle 75.   The complaint was filed with maintenance in 1997 by student Robert Millard (COL ’98), a resident of the apartment at the time while he and […]

NEW SOUTH – Stating that he considers himself a hero regardless of the actual circumstance, freshman Danny Waters (COL ‘18) recently leapt into action to save his seizing roommate, Bill Canton (SFS ‘18), only to discover that Canton was “just jackin’ it, get the fuck off me, I’m not having a seizure, just get the […]

LAU 2– Sophomore Madeline Schmidt (SFS ’17) was reportedly seen Monday night on the second floor of Lauinger Library cramming for Tuesday’s midterm elections. Schmidt said she was “gonna get around real soon” to researching Tom Cotton’s monetary policy after “a quick Facebook sesh” and that she was trying to begin understanding the implications of the Hobby Lobby case for this year’s election […]