LONDON – We haven’t heard from Adele in about five-ish years so we figured it was about time to check in. Her bi-decadely album has to be on its way and we at the Heckler want to help you prepare. For starters, you have to get sad now. This means taking the necessary steps. […]

BARCELONA? – Last we heard from Lionel Messi things seemed to be ship-shape and, although we here at The Heckler understand that everything is subject to change, we have received no information since that has led us to believe otherwise. So we are just going to assume, cautiously, mind you, that the Argentine Ace is […]

GEORGETOWN –  The Georgetown Hoyas football team gathered in silence on Sunday. The reason? The college football playoff selection show. For some teams this occasion would be a cause for applause, but in this small room in the Thompson Athletic Center, you could hear a pin drop. However, sadness did not account for the silence […]

GEORGETOWN – In an attempt to cement their position as Georgetown’s cool couple, Marina De Souza (NHS ‘21) and Kelvin Strenski (COL ‘21) hit the party scene dressed as a moth and a lamp. “It just seemed so fun and original” De Souza said, “and I also had this super cute moth costume just lying […]

WASHINGTON – As autumn descends upon Georgetown, one specific campus group has really caught the fall fever and their most recent promotion is evidence of this. Our beloved EMS service is now offering hayrides in expectation of a very busy Halloweekend. Senior Griffin Reid (COL ‘19) spoke on behalf of the organization, saying, “We’ll be […]

WASHINGTON – It’s 3:45 and the visceral ache in the two tones descending upon the campus of Georgetown University make one thing clear: the collective crawl towards an inevitable and painful ending has progressed another quarter of an hour. Or maybe they are funeral bells lamenting the quietus of the bright, innocent days of childhood. […]

WASHINGTON – After experimenting with the contraption for days on end, we at the Heckler were able to synthesize the following information about uses for meat thermometers. We came in with high hopes, but, as I’m sure you will be, we were disappointed with the results of our investigation.   Telling time Not always accurate. […]