GEORGETOWN– The editorial staff of the Heckler is happy to announce the beginning of the Spring 2019 application cycle. A spring application was not originally planned, but after an especially lackluster fall class, we here at the Heckler have decided to reopen the application, with a few caveats. After our experience last semester, we will no […]
ROME – Early Wednesday, the incredible saga of the lawn ornament that tricked Italy drew to a close, as the little fellow left the country with his ill-gotten gains in tow. The garden gnome had spent his time in Rome selling valuable manuscript cards under false pretenses, repelling malleable, nondescript guards and exploiting one of […]
GEORGETOWN, DC– As the holidays near, it is important to think about the Georgetown community as a whole, and what we can do to help out. Whether that means comforting a friend, giving a gift to a family member, or donating some cans (preferably with a cool label like a dragon or something) to the […]
COOPER FIELD–Expectations for the Men’s Lacrosse program are especially high this year after a preseason ranking of number 17. However hopes for the team were decidedly tempered late last night when the Heckler released its own ranking, identifying the Men’s Lacrosse Team as “Number 1 biggest jerks”. While competition this year was especially fierce, the […]
As a member of Love Saxa, you well know the perils of both the arcane magicks of the Devil’s consorts and the noxious vapors that hath brought plague down upon our fyne club. Determine the cause of your current misfortune quickly, lest your soul be shriven! 1. Hath ye, of late, been possessed by an […]
FLYNN PARK MIDDLE SCHOOL – A schoolwide surge of hope was decisively crushed Wednesday when sources revealed that Evan J., despite attending a regional summer camp dedicated exclusively to the subject, was still woefully unprepared for his 7th Grade Earth Science class. “I would never have sent him if I had thought, for even a […]
WASHINGTON, D.C. – A club wide email was circulated late on Sunday which, among other matters, asked for volunteers to lead this semester’s Knights of Columbus spring retreat whose goals are stated as “team-building, mentorship, and Jerusalem.” The retreat’s organizer Richard “The Lionheart” Wagner assured the Heckler that the program would not get caught up […]
While every God-fearing student of Georgetown mourns the results of the recent GUSA election, one widely regarded as having been tampered with, one pair of students is in high spirits, despite these dark times. Sahil Nair (‘19) and Naba Rahman (‘19) spent the wee hours of this morning counting their reward for betraying the Son […]