LEO’S — Following a concerted administrative effort to crack down on Georgetown’s underground meal swipe trade, the GUPD busted a massive meal swipe ring operating out of Lau 2 last Wednesday. Following a six-month investigation, GUPD arrested of alleged ringleader Todd McCarthy (MSB ‘15), GUPD announced its intention to . His lawyer told the […]
Today the Students of Georgetown Incorporated opened their first new storefront in a decade, the Hilltoss, a salad and smoothie shop in the Healey Family Student Center. I visited the new storefront this afternoon to review its offerings for the Heckler, but was left with a thought I couldn’t shake afterwards: why aren’t they […]
LAUINGER—Head of Georgetown University Library Kathleen Stevens has announced a new addition—a laserium—to the university’s Lauinger Library. The laserium will be placed in Lauinger Floor 2, or “Lau 2” as it is colloquially known, and will be in non-stop operation after its installment. According to Stevens, the University was looking for a place to […]
REISS — In an unannounced ceremony this week, Fr. Kevin O’Brien, Vice President for Missions and Ministry, followed up his blessing of the Northeast Triangle site with an exorcism of the Reiss Science building. On Saturday, O’Brien said a quick prayer at a scheduled gathering outside the Northeast Triangle construction site, removed a large […]
HEALEY FAMILY STUDENT CENTER — Set to open Friday, The Hilltoss – The Corp’s new Salad and Smoothie Shop in the Healey Family Student Center – has been delayed indefinitely as a result of a rabbit infestation.According to the CEO of the Corp, the infestation was entirely unexpected. “We planned for all the usual hangups […]
LAUINGER — In a research consultation held Thursday for ANTH-001: Intro to Cultural Anthropology, Senior Research Librarian Miriam O’Neil reportedly gave students an extensive Google lesson. Attendees said O’Neil showed near mastery of skills like typing in search words, scrolling through multiple results, and finally, selecting an article to read. “These students have […]
HARBIN — A pair of visiting parents arriving for the weekend were reportedly “livid” at the quality of alcohol in their son’s dorm room. Joseph Antonelli (COL ‘18), a resident of Harbin 4, was shocked when he showed his parents his dorm room, but said he “probably deserved it.” “The first thing my […]
WHITE-GRAVENOR — In an attempt to “not let the New World Order destroy us like it has the rest of the country,” Georgetown University registrar Jessica Maloney has requested that all tuition bills be paid with anonymous and deregulated cryptocurrency Bitcoin. In an email sent early Thursday morning, Maloney explained her decision to collect […]