ROME – Early Wednesday, the incredible saga of the lawn ornament that tricked Italy drew to a close, as the little fellow left the country with his ill-gotten gains in tow. The garden gnome had spent his time in Rome selling valuable  manuscript cards under false pretenses, repelling malleable, nondescript guards and exploiting one of […]

GEORGETOWN, DC– As the holidays near, it is important to think about the Georgetown community as a whole, and what we can do to help out. Whether that means comforting a friend, giving a gift to a family member, or donating some cans (preferably with a cool label like a dragon or something) to the […]

GEORGETOWN –  The Georgetown Hoyas football team gathered in silence on Sunday. The reason? The college football playoff selection show. For some teams this occasion would be a cause for applause, but in this small room in the Thompson Athletic Center, you could hear a pin drop. However, sadness did not account for the silence […]

HEALY LAWN – While most agree that those little memorials on Healy lawn are probably related to some sort of tragedy or cause, students admitted that the sign was just a little too far from the path to actually read it. Most students have agreed that they feel generally sad when they glance at it, but […]

RED SQUARE – Onlookers at the weekly farmer’s market were left baffled when a group of students gathered, insisting that the nordic country of Sweden is completely fabricated. “I was in line to get some bubble tea when all of a sudden I heard a bunch of shouting about Sweden and government lies,” said Alicia […]

Step 1: Acquire the commodities. Start the night by locating the alcohol. Pick whatever variety vaguely smells like vomit to you. That means you’ve thrown it up before and it’ll likely be your best bet. *If you’re underage, either wait for your strangely pushy Grandmother to offer you a drink or perhaps opt for snagging […]

DAHLGREN CHAPEL – Saturday’s nuptials in Dahlgren Chapel, featuring John and Stephanie as the groom and bride, were a memorable day overall. However, all positive elements of the wedding were eclipsed by a truly weak, disappointing performance by Stephanie during the vows. As the guests entered the chapel, leaves crunched underfoot and a breeze tugged […]

GEORGETOWN – In an attempt to cement their position as Georgetown’s cool couple, Marina De Souza (NHS ‘21) and Kelvin Strenski (COL ‘21) hit the party scene dressed as a moth and a lamp. “It just seemed so fun and original” De Souza said, “and I also had this super cute moth costume just lying […]

No, really: http://www.thehoya.com/mens-group-files-title-ix-complaint-university/?fbclid=IwAR1rbJRxxXEaM-liEMX6YhskTv2R479WdVZTS8Nfc1x_q_4zTRJdp-Ji6gs