COVID Test Not Exactly Psyched to be Going Up Your Nose Either
By Lucius Quintus Cincinnatus Lamar | September 13, 2020
Recent polls indicate that many Americans are reluctant to get tested for COVID-19 because they do not want to have the testing swab inserted into their nose. Well, we have news for you, America. That COVID test is not psyched to be going up there either! Is America so bold as to think it is […]
Georgetown Admin Announces In-Person Classes Will Resume, But Only in Walsh 392
By Lucius Quintus Cincinnatus Lamar | September 9, 2020
Earlier this morning, Georgetown University administrators announced that in-person classes will resume, effective immediately, in Walsh 392. The announcement, though seemingly an arbitrary reversal of previous decisions, was actually made with serious consideration for the health and safety of our community. President DeGioia wrote in the announcement, “We are continuing to monitor the situation and […]
Breaking: BSFS Globe Announces 2013 Portuguese Proficiency Exam Schedule
By Bushrod Washington | September 8, 2020
SFS students, check your emails! The deans of the Edmund A. Walsh School of Foreign Service have come out with another jam-packed and happening bulletin, full of exciting and relevant information to give our little lives meaning. The BSFS Globe, probably founded following World War I with the realization of the need for more repetitive […]
Don’t “Let it Rip”— Viral Particles Shown to Pass from Beyblade to Beyblade
By Carolina Edgecumb | September 4, 2020
Sad news hit the Beyblade community— nay, the world— this week, as the CDC’s most recent study determined that viral particles can, in fact, be passed from one Beyblade top to another. As we all know, Beyblade was originally marketed as an alternative to back-alley chicken fighting and has kept violent teens out of trouble […]
Freshman Makes Lifelong Friends During NSO Because She Meets No One Else
By Edith Bulwer Lytton | August 25, 2020
AT HOME – Rita Miller (COL ‘24) of Peoria, Illinois had an unforgettable NSO experience. Recalling the imaginary picnic to which Rita was to bring raspberries (and Taylor was to bring Twizzlers, Charlie was to bring crackers, and so on), NSO was like an idyllic summer’s day, carefree, spent with best friends. She said, “I […]
Out of Options: Texas State Fair Icon Big Tex to Speak at RNC
By Carolina Edgecumb | August 25, 2020
After a lackluster first night of events, the RNC went looking to spice up their lineup. Convention planners went down the typical list of home-run speakers, but in a surprising turn of events, widely-known Republican figures George W Bush, Vietnam veteran John Rambo, and the now-sentient Abraham Lincoln android stored in the White House basement […]
Georgetown Heckler Statement of Solidarity
By Heckler Staff | June 10, 2020
Content warning: racism, racist violence, police brutality, racism at Georgetown To the members of the Georgetown Community, The Heckler, like much of the Georgetown comedy sphere, has historically been a space filled predominantly with white men and their voices. Our lack of diversity and failure to create an environment of respect and inclusion has resulted […]
Op-Ed: I’m Extra Sexually Deprived So Please Stop Sitting in Front of Gene Hackman and Willem Dafoe in Your “Mississippi Burning” Poster
By Edith Bulwer Lytton | April 20, 2020
Listen. I know it won the Academy Award for best cinematography in 1989. I get that. But I haven’t felt the warmth of another person in months. You must understand what a bespectacled Willem Dafoe is doing to my body right now. It has been lauded by many as a landmark civil rights film told […]