Win Over St. John’s Gives Georgetown Hoops Outside Chance at Just Missing Tournament
By Shackleford Hedgecock, Esq. | January 28, 2019
NEW YORK- After a thrilling 89-78 victory over St. John’s this past Sunday, the Georgetown Men’s Basketball team is looking more and more like a squad that could possibly be one of the teams that narrowly misses a slot in the NCAA Tournament. “I really like how our guys are playing right now” coach Pat […]
Remembering His Legacy: MLK’s Most Famous Quotes Along With A Few Things We Can Definitely Picture Him Saying
By Blanche Cavendish | January 21, 2019
On this day we celebrate the life and legacy of a truly inspirational man, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. In honor of Dr. King, here are some of his most celebrated quotes, along with a few things that – we’ll be honest – we sorta inferred, but are all totally within the realm of possibility. […]
5 Gift Ideas Inspired By The Weird Felt Vest My History TA Wears Every Day
By Horace Harmon Lurton III | December 23, 2018
Here at the Heckler, we know that around this time of year, you might struggle to find last-minute gifts for those loved ones who are just so difficult to shop for. To alleviate some of that stress, we’ve taken some inspiration from my history TA’s style choices and put together a little gift guide to […]
Elves Told To “Wrap It Up” Unsure Whether To Stop Or Keep Going
By Shackleford Hedgecock, Esq. | December 22, 2018
THE NORTH POLE – After a vague directive from Santa to “wrap it up”, elves are reporting rising levels of confusion, frustration as they try and determine if the order was intended to encourage more gift packaging or halt the process altogether. Shift Supervisor Scout McStuffins offered some insight explaining, “Look, elves are naturally a […]
Its Evident: His Eminence’s Impediment Is Leninist Penitents in Tenements
By Edith Bulwer Lytton | December 20, 2018
Crude Jester’s Lewd Gesture Screwed Prude Tester’s Food Texture
By Adelaide Mornington | December 18, 2018
Ringo Starr Flings Bingo Card Hard At Gringo Guard’s Flamingo Car
By Henrietta Chesterfield | December 17, 2018
Gone Home! Non-Chrome Lawn Gnome Pawns Tome, Cons Rome
By Adelaide Mornington | December 14, 2018
ROME – Early Wednesday, the incredible saga of the lawn ornament that tricked Italy drew to a close, as the little fellow left the country with his ill-gotten gains in tow. The garden gnome had spent his time in Rome selling valuable manuscript cards under false pretenses, repelling malleable, nondescript guards and exploiting one of […]