AT HOME – Rita Miller (COL ‘24) of Peoria, Illinois had an unforgettable NSO experience. Recalling the imaginary picnic to which Rita was to bring raspberries (and Taylor was to bring Twizzlers, Charlie was to bring crackers, and so on), NSO was like an idyllic summer’s day, carefree, spent with best friends. She said, “I […]

Listen. I know it won the Academy Award for best cinematography in 1989. I get that. But I haven’t felt the warmth of another person in months. You must understand what a bespectacled Willem Dafoe is doing to my body right now. It has been lauded by many as a landmark civil rights film told […]

Stay home. If you want a surefire way to steer clear of Philly, try not leaving your house. Stock up on spam, canned fruits, and oats. Engineer some daily routines. Fend off the monotony with the comfort of knowing that you are not in Philadelphia.*   When you’re driving in a car, make sure that […]

WASHINGTON – At 10:30am this past Tuesday morning, Ashley Hemsworth (COL ‘20) of Dubuque, Iowa gave an especially impassioned tour. She strutted backward without even the slightest stumble (despite her humble assurances to her prospective pupils that she is terrible at walking backwards and would certainly hit snags), she masterfully fielded questions from the especially […]

JESUIT COMMUNITY CEMETERY – On All Hallows Eve, as legend holds, spirits of the dead can once again inhabit the earth. Some will find for a soul to spook, others will look for a loved one, and still others will engage in some of the earthly pleasures they enjoyed while living. The Jesuits, however, took […]

To just say that The georgetown Heckler editor should’ve scoured this article for mistakes harder would be putting it lightly. Maybe the editor is feeling all edited out by now but this person really should be trying to uphold a standard here. its embarrassing.   Some of these sentences are far too long, clause after […]

LAUINGER LIBRARY – I am soooo sorry that I ruin your picturesque front lawn. I’ve heard you say it. Yeah, you. “Lau is supposed to be a brutalist interpretation of Healy Hall, but personally I don’t see it.” “Wow people really did lots of drugs in the 60s.” “Ah Lau is so ugly and depressing, […]

WESTEROS – Like so many other normal Americans, I fell in love with Game of Thrones immediately. It was so much fun observing the beautiful scenery, navigating the complex storylines, and keeping up with all my favorite characters until their tragic ends. However, after I fell head over heels for Game of Thrones, some of […]

HEALY LAWN – As prospective students descended on Georgetown’s campus for GAAP weekend, one Colin McGuire (SFS ‘23) of Columbus, Ohio had a particularly harrowing episode. In a weekend full of icebreaker games, awkward silence broken only by timid small talk, and getting lost, lost, lost, a little incident on the lawn took the cake […]

WASHINGTON – We have finally done it! Since setting plans in motion to become The Georgetown Harvard Lampoon in 2009, we have been engaged in a lengthy legal dispute. A new document that has surfaced in this case has blown it wide open and the name “The Harvard Lampoon” is ours! At least that’s what […]