Dear Members of the Georgetown University Community: It is with sincere appreciation for your boundaries that I write this letter to you today. I do not wish to infringe on your personal space. I do not wish to infringe on your comfort zone. But before the day is over, I must ask: would it be […]

Earlier this week, the Office of Global Education (OGE) released a new report on Georgetown students’ participation in study abroad programs with the exciting conclusion that all the ugly people went abroad this semester, and now you are the only one left. The report, entitled “Why YOU Should Go Abroad,” highlights all of the reasons […]

For many Georgetown Students (probably around 50%, but who’s to say), trips to the bathroom often involve an awkward silence shared with adjacent urinal users. Those looking to break the ice and form meaningful connections, no matter the scenery, can lead with the following:   “Wow, powerful stream!” Leading with a compliment is a great […]

TINDER – Junior Esther Caulfield (NHS ‘21) was undoubtedly one of many to swipe right on what seemed to be an ironic and admittedly funny profile featuring Georgetown’s beloved Jack the Bulldog.  “It was just the most adorable picture, and the bio said things like ‘I love to take long walks and skateboard!’ It was […]

Honor Council delegates were seen licking their lips and rubbing their hands together as they pressed send on an email that went out to all undergraduate students at Georgetown earlier today, reminding them of the importance of academic integrity. In fact, the group looked quite festive all week leading up to the email, carrying large […]

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With 450 toilets and 7000 undergraduate students, Georgetown ranks 5th in the Big Ten for toilets per capita. This has to change. Georgetown students do not have enough places to relieve themselves on campus, although I have never once accidentally urinated in my trousers in my history discussion section.   I speak exclusively for those […]

Stay home. If you want a surefire way to steer clear of Philly, try not leaving your house. Stock up on spam, canned fruits, and oats. Engineer some daily routines. Fend off the monotony with the comfort of knowing that you are not in Philadelphia.*   When you’re driving in a car, make sure that […]

A recent study from Georgetown Residential Living revealed the disappointing statistic that only 20% of roommates who meet on CHARMS go on to room together for the rest of college, fall madly in love, and have gorgeous destination weddings.    “This is obviously not what we were going for when we established CHARMS.” said Bill […]

YATES FIELD HOUSE – Hey, man. How’s it going? School’s going well? Yeah? That’s great! I’m so glad to hear you’ve been doing well.   Hey, remember that time you and five to seven of your closest friends decided to both have fun and stay in shape by forming an intramural basketball team? Yeah? Wouldn’t […]