When senior SFS students Lawrence Pullman and Olivia Farley met their sophomore year, they didn’t have much in common. From opposite coasts and with completely different family backgrounds, they struggled to find any similarities. But eventually they became infatuated with each other, bonding over their mutual love of hiking and realism. In an interview with […]
Henle- A recently announced change to campus drinking laws allowing for wine and beer to be consumed outdoors in certain areas of Village A and Henle has caused a substantial increase in stoop-originated insults and catcalls. Students walking through both areas have reported numerous instances of being told that their “outline looks damn good,” to […]
Following a recent policy change barring students from owning cars on or near campus except in special circumstances, the ANC voted today to just simplify the process and erect a wall between 35th and 36th streets, ensuring that students not spillover their “noisy, beer-sodden lifestyles” into the upper class neighborhood. The policy was made without […]
In a press conference last week, Director of Residence Life Katie Lynch put an end to the dispute of whether the RA position stands for “Resident Advisor” or “Resident Assistant;” instead, she sheepishly announced that it actually stands for “Really Awkward.” In an effort to increase inter-departmental transparency, Residence Life finally announced that the well-known […]
GEORGETOWN- In a move that has left students both excited and deeply confused Georgetown’s Office of Transportation Management has announced a new GUTS Bus to Nowhere. The new line will leave from Dahlgren Chapel on the 42nd minute of every other hour, taking passengers down to the Lincoln Memorial, through Anacostia, past the Chinatown Fuddruckers, […]
Just a few weeks after St. Patrick’s Day, Georgetown Program Board President Andy Griffen (COL ’13) announced that the organization has officially disbanded after trying beer for the first time. The group was found completely wasted in Burleith Saturday afternoon with half a beer each hidden in the water bottles frequently awarded as movie-trivia prizes. […]
MSB junior Igo N. Flator was sworn in Monday to the new GUSA cabinet under President Nate Tisa and Vice President Adam Ramadan in a new role, that of professional ego-stroker. “Sometimes, when you’re feeling blue, you need somebody to remind you that you’re the second-ever openly gay student body president of a Jesuit university,” […]
Georgetown’s regularly scheduled midterm-induced panic is in full swing, and nobody is feeling the burn more than the soon-graduating seniors, for whom this is the last go-round. While the average college student is faced with relatively easy questions come midterms season (e.g., what are my classes again?), the second-semester senior is its own brand of […]
The following conversation between David Axelrod and Barack Obama was overheard by The Heckler’s hidden White House microphone. Yes, David, I’m all ready for the inauguration tomorrow. We already did the official swearing in today, this is just for the public. Roberts has his lines down for once, so it all should go smoothly. Oh, […]
The university has entered a state of mourning following pop sensation Bono’s recent visit to campus, during which a student allegedly saw the star without his trademark shades and was quickly dispatched. The lead singer of U2 was seen ducking out of a far corner of Healy where the asphyxiated student was later found. When […]