ICC — The Intercultural Center convulsed in violence yesterday as realist international relations scholars in the Department of Government invaded the office space of their liberal internationalist colleagues.   Striking swiftly and without warning, the realist professors launched a coordinated assault against the liberals, occupying their offices and annexing them for their own use.   […]

MIDWAY AIRPORT — Saying he was “tired” of fighting for the shared armrest with segments of the obese population and geriatrics, Senior Terrance Levine (MSB ’15) told reporters he’s optimistic that this time he would be locked into an endless struggle over a common armrest with an attractive female. “I’ve flown the Chicago-DC flight at least two […]

THE INTERNET — In an effort to increase social activity amongst pre-med students, the Center for Student Engagement and the Georgetown University Pre-Med Society have partnered to create a dating service for pre-med students called Covalent Bonds.   Senior Jack Crockett (COL ’15), creator and CEO of the service, described it as “a way to […]

Last weekend, my partner and I were mugged at gunpoint while responding to a call near Dupont Circle. The entire incident lasted under a minute, as I was forced to the ground, handed over my walkie talkie and was patted down.   And yet, when a reporter asked whether I was surprised that this could […]

SOUTHWEST QUAD — After nearly a semester of sitting next to each other in U.S. Political Systems and playing in the same fantasy football league, acquaintances Frank Bellamy (SFS ’16) and Javier Marquez (COL ’17) reportedly have no idea whether they should stop and talk to each other when they cross paths on campus.   […]

CAR BARN —  The Office of International Programs announced last Monday that its newest study abroad program will be in Henle Village.   “I’m really excited about this opportunity,” commented Daisy Redwood (COL ’17). “I looked at all of the other options for study abroad and none of them really appealed to me. Henle seems […]

WASHINGTON — Local junior Jessica Harding (COL ’16) released a statement yesterday that she is “just too busy” to deal with the crushing weight of responsibility she feels on a daily basis.   “I thought I could handle taking on another activity,” said Harding in an exclusive interview, “but it looks like I am going […]