PENNSYLVANIA AVE — The man who jumped the White House fence and entered the building this month “just really, really needed to take a piss,” a Democratic congressman said on Tuesday. Representative Sam Farr (D-MA) told the Georgetown Heckler that he received reliable testimony that suspect Omar Gonzalez, 47, had difficulty finding a bathroom in […]
Monday night, at approximately 10:37 pm, sophomore Kyle Oakpine disappeared while playing intramural football on Kehoe field. Upon noticing his disappearance, fellow Hoyas John Salmon (MSB ’17) and Angelica Weaver (NHS ’17) were noticeably distraught when speaking with school officials. “We told him to stay away from that corner” Angelica stated, “but he just had to […]
THE INTERNET — Early developments have reached the Heckler that an anonymous individual is upset about something on Georgetown Confessions. As early 6 p.m. reports were coming in that a particular post on Georgetown Confessions had a negative tone. While it is still unclear what the content of the post contains, experts are surmising that […]
To the horror of Gilban construction officials and delight of fantasy connoisseurs, Georgetown University came under attack this week after the felling of trees in the Northeast Triangle upset a group of ents. As construction began on a new student dormitory, several trees—among the largest and last remaining on campus—had to be removed from the […]
REISS 284 — Following Professor Howard Feinstein’s Theology in the Third World, students emerged rattled and shaken from the two hour Catholic Studies seminar in the Reiss classroom after Howard uttered a deadly seven word phrase. While the 300-level course initially hummed along in its first hour, Feinstein paused conversation as he transitioned topics to […]
NEW SOUTH — Less than three weeks after the opening of the Healey Family Student Center, sectarian strife among students has gripped much of the area surrounding Library Walk and Prospect Street over rights to nickname the new facility. Following failure from central administration figures to bestow a catchy nickname to the student center, for […]
LAU 2 — The world has been a surprising place for Martin Johnson (COL ’04) following his recent de-thawing from the large block of ice he had been trapped in since he began his abroad in the future program at Georgetown in August 2003. What he claims, however, is the most exciting part of the […]
The entire Georgetown Main and Medical Center Campus will be closed beginning October 1 for construction, according to an email sent by Vice President of Planning & Facilities Management Robin Morey. In addition to work on the Northeast Triangle Residence Hall, the Former Jesuit Residence, and the Thompson Athletic Center, wrote Morey, the University will press […]
The Heckler is honoring Amber as Hoya of the Week because of her selfless commitment to leaving club member and leadership positions vacant so that other Hoyas might have the opportunity to add them to their resume. From GUSA Senate to GIVES, A Capella groups to Club Polo, Amber is working hard to serve her fellow students […]