The Georgetown Heckler has obtained an exclusive transcript of freshman Franco Shaumberg’s (SFS ’18) review of Leo J. O’Donovan Dining Hall. The Yelp! review reads as follows: “First and fore mostly, I cannot accurately discuss with words my disgust with this institution as a whole. From start to finish My disappointment with my Georgetown […]
M STREET — The Metropolitan Police Department temporarily suspended Rhino Bar & Pumphouse’s liquor license after undercover police officers discovered an over-21year old on the bar’s premises last weekend. The D.C. Alcoholic Beverage Control (ABC) Board announced the five revocation of the license this Monday as a part of the police’s ongoing “Keep Adults out […]
HEALEY LAWN — Expressing concern for the mental and physical wellbeing of her new roommate, junior Jennifer Lemieux (MSB ‘16) recently lamented that exchange student Fish may not be adjusting well to her study abroad semester at Georgetown University. “She’s super quiet, and I’m pretty sure that she’s just been laying on Healy Lawn since […]
NEW SOUTH — Over the din of the twenty three person party in New South dormitory 349 it became increasingly clear to outside observers that freshmen Nate Schumer (COL ’18) and Bridget Friedland (SFS ’18) were successfully concealing the fact they were large nerds in high school while hitting on each other. “Can I get […]
HARBIN — Citing an abundance of evidence of anti-New Jersey stigma amongst his peers Freshman Clayton Peters (COL ’18) began telling all he encountered he hails from the “NYC area.” “Listen, I’m just trying to sound the slightest bit cultural and original here,” said Peters who lives one hour and twenty minutes in current traffic […]
POTOMAC, MD — In a swift turn of events Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and Hama’s Khaled Meshaal agreed to an immediate cessation of hostilities and tentatively agreed in principle to a lasting two state solution between Israel and Palestine in large part to a social media post made by sophomore Anita Howard (SFS ’17). […]
WASHINGTON — In a damning blow to rising seniorʼs hopes that they can exercise some control over their date of graduation, the surgeon general released a report stating that “diet and exercise are almost entirely uncorrelated in postponing the inevitability of graduation. The two page document, released Monday to senior audiences eager to learn how they can avoid graduation, […]
GEORGETOWN — George “The Man” McCallister (COL ’18) was the self-reported king of his high school. He was the starting full back for his football team, he had the prettiest girl on his arm, students and educators alike deferred to him on a daily basis. “During my junior year, I had to sue Ambericombe and Fitch […]